As some of you may already know that I have quit my job at New Sabah Times and have become a more independent reporter for Free Malaysia Today.
Despite the reasons that I have for leaving the newspaper, it would be a new and great challenge to work for an online news portal and as an 'independent' news agency, it comes with new sets of advantages and challenges.
I've been in Free Malaysia Today for about two weeks now and the ride has been revving up to a good start but my mood at the moment is in now crashed and burned. I feel that I have to relearn all my 'journalistic' skills during my time in the newspaper which is probably the toughest challenge I face when I just entered in this line of work.
No more functions, no more crime stories, no more short and simple reporting and processing statements. Those were the bread and butter that I used to live by and it can become monotonous but at the same time, it always exposed me to something new everyday.
Now it's more issue-based news, searching for leads and doing own research on topics that I was too young to understand then and don't seem to be able to grasp it as the wise old cracks of now.
The difficulty curve of the assignments that I have been given so far by my boss in KK, is way above the bar of what I'm used to do. Frankly, I think he is sending me on suicide missions to tread on dangerous waters that I have no confidence in surviving. It's sink or swim all over again but this time, there's shark if you are in the water.
Needless to say, production in the new workplace had dropped dramatically compared to the old days when I use to pump at least 1 or 2 (sometimes 3-4, and even 7 once) stories a day (and gets published), while slamming away at the keyboard after a long day out.
Now after 2 weeks (coming to 3, by my calculation), I've only had 2 stories published (out of a handful of submissions that I have handed in) and I'm not even sure if my bosses have been happy with my submissions.
It's blatant agony to see how my performance has dropped and I won't make excuses that the task in this new workplace is something much bigger than I can chew. But I have come to the conclusion that this new paradigm shift of how I did my reporting before, means that it requires a total shift in lifestyle.
Don't be fooled that I have the 'luxury' of working from home. After 2 weeks of doing this, I think home is simply the worse place on earth for a person like me to work at. Somehow, I become more timid, less motivated and my mind becomes dull-headed to think of story ideas to pursue.
Maybe there's too much distractions at home or maybe the constant annoyance and disturbance that I get just kills all concentration and discipline to make the phone-calls I should be making and going to places to meet people I should be meeting.
I really need to get out more often and my social skills hasn't really improved to the level where I can just pick up a conversation with a random person on the street and dig a story out of them. I wonder does my boss expect me to develop these skills overnight?
To me, it sounds to me like I'm making excuses of not liking this job I'm given and I know I shouldn't really be complaining but I'm now starting to appreciate having the support that I used to love and hate back in the old company to get the job done.
Nevertheless, without learning how to survive, it does not make one a better person in our given careers.
For now, I'm planning to have a dramatic change in my life and I hope it pays off since it means I'm in full control of everything that happens to myself, for good or bad, for life or death.
